C S Lewis has much to teach us about love.
Appreciative Love
'Appreciative love reveals itself in a desire to care for the one that is loved. It is a gift love with no thought of self and will continue to care even though the other is not possessed. Such a love will not say I cannot live without you.
Gift love longs to give happiness, comfort and protection'.
Friendship
Few value it as few experience it. It adds value to life but is not essential to survival.
By its nature it separates individuals from the masses. It is always ‘about something’.
“ Do you see it too? I thought I was the only one."
‘The man who agrees with us that some question, little regarded by others, is of great importance, can be our Friend.'
'When two share a vision or become aware of a shared vision , friendship is born. Instantly they stand together in an immense solitude. Friends stand side by side; their eyes look ahead. '
'The context in which friendship grows sees the testing of each other. As he rings true time after time, our respect, our reliance and our admiration blossoms into Appreciative Love of a singularly robust and well-informed kind. This at times makes one feel humbled to be in such company. Life has no better gift to give than such a friendship.'
Eros
Eros is about the beloved. It is face to face. It obliterates the distinction between giving and receiving and is the king of pleasures. It should never be about pleasure in itself or it is degraded. It is the ' multiple distractions of domesticity' that concern Paul in scripture, not the marriage bed. Venus should never be taken too seriously but is not the whole part of Eros.
Charity - the agape of the New Testament.
'God, who needs nothing, loves into existence wholly superfluous creatures in order that He may love and perfect them. He foresees all the horrors of the crucifixtion as central to this redemption. Love is no guarantee of safety from heartbreak. It is a heart broken by the pain of desertion that saves us, not from pain but into it for God’s sake. Jesus wept over the effects of sin in man.'
